Sometimes you need think about you

i had to tell my adult son ( who has many problems including addiction ) that he had a choice, if he wanted to stay with me he had to stay clean, and have a job. if he couldn't find a job he had to volunteer and be out of the house as if he was working. .. he couldn't manage it so he " chose " to leave. i had to change locks on my door so he could not get in and he was homeless.. stayed at friends then to homeless shelter.. i couldn't continue to enable him any longer. nothing changes if nothing changes. an alanon or mental health support group for family members might help you, it helped me set boundaries and learn to take care of my self first, and detach with love to my very troubled son. when I did that he found help and is doing some better.. one day at a time..

I know how hard it is dealing with adult children with issues when you are struggling with your own problems. I don't know the relationship you have with your boys...so I wouldn't try and give you my opinion....I just wanted to tell you that whatever you do will be a hard choice...it involves your kids....and whatever you do choose has to be right for you. You have to live with your choices and only you know exactly what you should do in the best interests of you, and also the boys. I empathize, coz I've been there, & I don't envy you. Use your friends and other family members to help you keep strong. I hope that it all works out for you....

Thank you everyone for the advice. Seeking professional help, may have to help sons get into supportive housing for the mentally ill. It's a challenge, since they do not take their medications and refuse to follow basic house rules. They may become homeless. Very sad about it. Both sons have high IQ's but their illness and drug use have derailed their lives. Hoping for the best outcome. Thanks again.