I don't know anyone any longer to upset, not in person anyway, so I don't really have an answer for you, except that you weren't in your usual straight frame of mine. Depression is a crippling disease. I'd so prefer to have a bone broken, or anything else, than to deal with what I go through daily, for the last 34 years. Work helps. Any work helps. Even 20 years ago when I'd help dad out with his antique restorations helped. One particular project I still think of, I sanded down an entire vintage ice box and veneered the wood. Dad bought it for $5 bucks, it was covered in housepaint green. I turned that thing over into mint condition and we sold it for $1500 in 1994. I'll never forget that pride. I'll also never forget the lousy 10% I got out of it, but that's what dad taught me, stating, "whoever said life was fair, kid?" I miss him terribly. I'm so glad I turned into him. Hang in, my young friend. It's not all that bad. This is a great group, a great forum. If you can get your feelings out on "cyberpaper" as it were that too is a help.

Depending on how angry I am, I do self harm activities. That has gone on since I was a teen. I know that it is not healthy and I do have friends that are very concerned about that.

@A MyDepressionTeam Member : EXTREMELY useful question - exactly my struggles

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