I noticed lately that you cant fight your feelings. It took way to long to realize this, but i have been feeling the same way alot lately.
Maybe you and your friend can sound down and have a conversation about what both of you are going through. It may help you both.
Dont feel guilty about how you feel. You have reasons for feeling the way you do and the best thing to is try and get those feelings out.

@A MyDepressionTeam Member, it sounds like you may have some family members who are possibly affected by narcissistic behavior or borderline personality disorder if you are getting blamed for things that are not your fault. Read up or Google those things. I had dealt with it for 34 years of my life and let me tell you, it's no pick nick. I had to leave those relationships behind 12 years ago in order to have peace.

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A MyDepre...

When regret is suppressed and allowed to live within you, it manifests itself as guilt and it can act like an emotional cancer if it's allowed to fester and grow. It not only eats at you, but it destroys relationships. Regret/guilt is ugly because it haunts you, shames you, and constantly reminds you of your mistakes/actions. Instead of beating yourself up for the choices you made or wanting to beat someone else up for a choice they forced upon you, communicate your apology to the affected person and you will experience the relief of the regret/guilt fading away...

It was one of the most harrowing experiences on my road to emotional recovery, but so worth it. I couldn't do it in one sit, but I got through it. I'll never claim that it wasn't traumatizing at times, but weighed up against my emotional distress, the pro's far outweighed the con's. Remember, you are the only person who can do something about your emotional wellbeing. You owe it to yourself... Popping pills is like putting a bandaid on a fractured leg.

Take pen and paper and start writing your life story, both good and bad. Continue writing until you're empty. Then, take each event and analize them individually with regards to the effect it had on your life and try to pin-point the actual reason for your quilt...