Make it that he doesn't have a choice. You are not going to be there forever. Does he spend all his time on games, computer, phone. If he does then he can do things he likes. Have you talked to his doctor about what is going on. He might be able to help.

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Firstly I appreciate your kindness and concerns in a very difficult place for both you and your wife.
Although your son is dealing with mental health issues,he is operating from his childlike state,did your son always get what he wanted as a child, if he did then that's his behavior now.
He doesn't know what's really going but nothing will change untill you change for yourself