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Anyone A Caregiver?

A MyDepressionTeam Member asked a question 💭
Not telling

I have to help take care of my mother. She can still walk but I have to make sure she takes her pills. I am an introvert and I need to be alone at times. My mom doesnt like being alone at all. I have to be with her all the time. It's very hard on me when I'm stuck with her all day everyday and I barely get any time to myself. I'm having a hard time get her on a sleep.schedule. her medication makes her tired in the morning where she can not stay awake. I'm trying to keep her awake so she will… read more

December 13
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A MyDepressionTeam Member

Oh, Kaye, I don't think that at all. What I'm thinking is that frustration often leads to heightened emotions and behaviors that can be misinterpreted.

For example, my Mom is nearly deaf and blind at 96. In order to be heard (despite her wearing hearing aids), I have to shout. A caring neighbor and lovely human being once called to see if we were all right, so I invited her over to have a conversation with Mom. By the end of ten minutes, we were shaking with laughter because she was shouting at the top of her lungs too.

We were on the front porch, which invited the attention of other neighbors. By the end of the afternoon, most of my neighbors were on my front porch, which was sweet. We all were hollering so Mom could hear us, but I imagine that if it weren't for the laughter, outsiders would have thought it would turn into a brawl.

No criticism by me, let me assure you! ☕️

2 days ago (edited)
A MyDepressionTeam Member

@A MyDepressionTeam Member where did you think I'd get abuse charges against me? I would never hurt my mom
I was just venting my frustration about the situation. Taking care of aging parents seems like a very common problem and I was asking about support or sharing.

@A MyDepressionTeam Member she isn't repeating stories but one of her teeth needs pulled and it makes her very anxious and that's why she keeps talking about repeatedly I try to make her feel safe and know that she's alright. Thank you for the support. I've had a very hard two weeks lately and most of the time I've been calm but PMS plus little self care myself cause the perfect storm in my head. It's gotten better and spending time with her isn't as overwhelming now. It's mostly guilt that I want to be alone every now and then. If you are an introvert you'll understand.

2 days ago
A MyDepressionTeam Member

I know this isn't a cure for your situation but when she is repeating stories and you are frustrated hearing the repeat, ask questions about the story. Use who, what, when, where, how in your questions. You'll hear the story differently and won't get as frustrated. Plus, you'll gain information that no other family member has and it may be valuable in the future. That is what I did with my great-grandmother, and it helped.

4 days ago
A MyDepressionTeam Member

Yup. No rest for the weary. If you need to, get help whether she likes it or not. Call the local Area Agency on Aging, they'll do an assessment and help where they can.

The last thing in the world you want or she wants is abuse or neglect charges levied against you. Get help.

December 13
A MyDepressionTeam Member

I am a caretaker for my mom who has Parkinsons and i think dementia is setting in as well. I am also a full time 24/7 single mom plus am self employed. I cant do this anymore. She is on a waiting list for assisted living but been told its about 1 year wait. I seriously cant wait that long. She is very demanding. I want my life back. Its affecting me in so many aspects of my life.

December 13

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