When you live with a mental health diagnosis like bipolar disorder, being in a romantic or sexual relationship might feel stressful. After all, you don’t want your partner to feel like they’re riding an emotional roller coaster because of all the ups and downs.

Some people choose to forgo relationships altogether. “Lonely beats being in a bad relationship,” shared one person on MyDepressionTeam. “There really are very few relationships I’d trade my lonely but happier life for.”

However, you can find a partner who understands the diagnosis and is willing to work with your mood swings. It’s possible to have a healthy relationship with bipolar 1 disorder. It all starts with dating. If you want to date with bipolar 1, here’s what you should keep in mind.

1. Consider How and When To Tell Someone You Have Bipolar 1

Most people want to put their best foot forward when they’re dating. This can make it difficult to tell someone that you’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 1. It can be scary, like it was for a MyDepressionTeam member who shared, “I’m ready to open up to people, but the fear of opening up to someone I could have a relationship with terrifies me.”

Telling someone that you’ve been diagnosed with a mental health condition like bipolar 1 requires vulnerability and trust. At the same time, you don’t want to wait too long. Consider ahead of time when you might be ready to share this information or what you want to experience with another person before you tell them. Remember that it doesn’t have to be on your first date.

Many people have chronic health conditions that can complicate the early stages of dating. If you’re nervous about discussing your diagnosis, practicing this conservation can help. Do it on your own in front of the mirror or rehearse with a friend.

Telling someone that you’ve been diagnosed with a mental health condition like bipolar 1 requires vulnerability and trust.

You can start by saying something like, “I’d like to share something about my health with you.”

You can also acknowledge the stigma around bipolar disorder, and let them know that you are happy to answer any questions they may have.

2. Consider What It’s Like Dating Someone With Bipolar Disorder

After you tell someone that you’ve been diagnosed with a mental health condition like bipolar 1, they’ll likely want to know more. They may want to understand what the diagnosis is, how it affects your life, and what it might mean for the two of you together.

You may want to explain the condition yourself. However, you might also choose to direct them to a particular website or book that resonates with your experience of bipolar 1. You could even sit down with them and a psychiatry professional so they can get their questions answered. Having a plan for how to go through this process can make you feel more comfortable sharing your diagnosis.

3. Consider Your Current Treatment’s Effectiveness

Even when you find an effective treatment, it may not take away your symptoms of bipolar disorder entirely, and you might still experience relapses. You may have to tweak your treatment or change it entirely for maximum effectiveness.

If you’re in a situation in which your treatment isn’t working as well or you’re still looking for effective solutions, you should consider whether it’s a good time to date. Some people with bipolar 1 may choose to wait until their treatment is stable before they look for a new romantic relationship.

4. Consider Your Medication’s Effects on a Relationship

Medications are a key part of controlling bipolar symptoms so you can feel more stable and engage in meaningful relationships. However, that’s not to say there are no downsides. Certain side effects of bipolar medication may impact dating.

Different medications for bipolar 1 have different side effects, but some of the most common ones include:

• High blood pressure
• High blood sugar
• Weight gain
• Drowsiness
• Low energy
• Inability to sit still for very long

All these can make dating difficult for different reasons. For instance, having low energy or feeling like you can’t sit still may limit the activities you want to participate in.

In addition, sexual dysfunction and emotional blunting (when someone has trouble feeling or showing emotions) are two known side effects of a group of medications called antipsychotics, which are often used to treat bipolar 1. If you find that medication side effects are significantly affecting your relationships, talk to your doctor. They may have an alternative you can try, or they may suggest changing your dose.

You can overcome these challenges in your dating life, but it helps to think about them first. That way, when you encounter an issue, it won’t be entirely unexpected. You’ll be in a better place to address it with yourself and the person you’re dating.

5. Consider How Bipolar 1 Affects You Sexually

Bipolar 1 and the medications used to treat it may influence how often you want sex or are interested in it. When you’re in a manic bipolar 1 episode, you might want a lot of sex. When you’re in a depressive episode, you may have no interest at all. This can be confusing to someone you’re dating and may have negative effects on your relationship.

If you know how bipolar 1 affects your sexual needs and desires, it may help to tell the person you’re dating before this type of situation occurs. You might choose to come up with a plan for handling those occasions. You might also want to get medical advice so you understand your options for raising or lowering your sex drive.

Since these issues are related to your mental health, it’s important to speak with a healthcare provider who understands bipolar disorder, like your psychiatrist or therapist, rather than a general practitioner.

6. Consider What You Need During a Manic Episode

Your needs while dating are likely to change based on where you are in your bipolar cycle. When you’re in a manic episode, you’re likely to feel very happy, as well as very irritable or even anxious. You might need a lot of activity in your life and be more prone to taking risks.

People with bipolar 1 will need different types of support from their partners during these times. You may need someone who:

• Doesn’t take your irritability personally
• Will join you in celebration and joy
• Can keep up with you when your energy is high
• Is willing to step in when you’re making choices that might hurt you later
• Notices your warning signs so you know when an episode is coming

It can be scary to share the extremes you experience. “I’d love to find a guy and be in a relationship, but my issues and behaviors prevent me from anything other than merely picturing it,” one MyDepressionTeam member shared. “The prospect of the new emotional experiences a relationship can bring petrifies me.”

Thinking about these situations ahead of time could make handling them easier.

7. Consider What You Need During a Depressive Episode

Your needs are likely to be very different when you’re experiencing a depressive episode. You’re more likely to feel sad or hopeless, struggle with getting out of bed, have less energy, eat less, and communicate less. You may even think about suicide or death.

Note: If you or someone you know needs help, you can contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or chatting online.

Your needs during these times might differ from those of someone else diagnosed with bipolar 1. For instance, you might want a partner who:

• Tries to cheer you up
• Covers for you when you can’t get something done
• Encourages you to eat and sleep normally
• Continues to communicate with you
• Keeps an eye out for suicidal behaviors

Preparing your partner ahead of time to recognize a depressive episode can also help your relationship thrive.

8. Consider Counseling With Your Partner

Bipolar 1 can have a number of negative effects on a relationship. Your partner may have to do extra work, take care of you, and carry more of the burden of your life together. Counseling might help you overcome the impact of bipolar disorder, especially if you get in the habit of seeing a counselor while you’re dating.

A professional counselor or licensed therapist can help you and the person you’re dating maintain open communication and work through any hurt or confusion that develops because of bipolar 1. They may be able to help you and your partner set boundaries around treatment options and a continuing treatment plan or make a plan for what to do during difficult times.

Note that you or your partner may want to attend psychotherapy or a support group on your own, too. This is healthy. It can also keep your feelings of wellness and sense of well-being high. It may also help your partner develop a plan for self-care. Your healthcare provider can help you find a mental health professional who is right for you.

Note that you and your partner may want to attend psychotherapy or a support group, either individually or together.

Talk With Others Who Understand

MyDepressionTeam is the social network for people with depression and their loved ones. On MyDepressionTeam, more than 150,000 members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who understand life with depression.

Are you concerned about dating after being diagnosed with bipolar 1? What do you look for in a partner? Share your experience in the comments below, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.