I am so very sorry for your loss, I understand completely,sadly I had 2 miscarriages when I was younger both as you say traumatic, one entailed a hospital stay which I still find hard to talk about all these years later. You will feel like this it is natural and as you say your partner is feeling it too,they are sometimes forgotten, but work through this together and know it does get easier, I too felt the losses each month for a while there are a lot of emotions to deal with, but you will get through this very hard time and be stronger.

Thanks for the advice, Simi. It is much appreciated, and it is nice to know that i'm not the only one that has gone through this.

I think you hit the nail on the head when you spoke about having all this love to give and nowhere for it to go. Just before I fell pregnant I found myself in a situation where I had to walk away from my family because they refused to contemplate that they had been treating me badly (gaslighting, breaking their word, making decisions on my behalf without my permission, making no effort to contact me or visit me since I moved interstate 6 years ago but badgering me about "coming home" each time I visited friends and family), refused to make any effort to change, and basically gave me the ultimatium of continuing to put up with it or have no contact with them at all. This is what had kickstared my depression - effectively losing my entire family. When I feel pregnant I could feel myself rising out of the fog. I had someone who I could shower with all of this love I had to give, and yet again it had nowhere to go when I miscarried

Thank you again for sharing your story with me.

I feel for you. I've had 4 and the years go by very painfully. The only way I manage is with my spouse. He was willing to take it slow with me and not rush me. The body takes its own time to heal but the mind takes longer. I had to go to therapy and went on many different medications, stopped being intimate for a while and was always moody. He stuck through it and he was a good punching bag but that's not what I'm hoping for you. I hope you get some peace with your partner. The rage is strong and the pain is unforgiving but the only way I learned to start to heal mentally was when I forgave him and forgave myself. No matter how much one denies it there's always blame when w lose our baby. I think we feel this much pain because when we get pregnant all this love shows up and you just want to give it away. Then when they go we have this immense amount of love just sitting there wanting to be shared and no baby to give it to.

It's okay to not be okay and its okay to give yourself the time you need. Some women need weeks others need days and some of us need years. Nothing wrong with it honey. I went on birth control that stopped my period for 6 months so I wouldn't have to deal with it and then when I was ready again I slowly weaned off by alternating months.

I hope this helps. And I'm here whenever you need. I've been there and I get it. Big hugs xxoo