Hello Tracy! For many years I suffered with my past thoughts. Should have, would have and could have been on my mind. It took therapy, encouragement from family and friends to get me through. The brain is the most extraordinary organ and we need much support to stay balanced. Keep reaching out makes the difference. We are all here to help each other.

Thank you all for your good thoughts and ideas.
I don't have a counselor at present, so I am trying to self-care as best I can. I used to journal all the time, and I saved them too.
A counselor once asked me to think about why I don't write now...Do I feel afraid of what I may uncover or scared that writing about the past can bring up upsetting emotions or make us look at things you don't want to look at?

I did a lot of things, journaling, giving my life to Christ. And giving all of it to him. Also I go to celebrate recovery. Also I did eye movement therapy. Can't think of the name. Your therapist should know . It worked well.

I try (try being the operative word) to remember my DBT skills. One technique that helps is:
1)to acknowledge the negative thought
2)don’t judge it or try to stop the thought
3)let the thought move on
I try to visualize the negative thought actually moving away from my body. Sometimes I have to repeat this many times. It’s difficult to let go of the guilt and shame.

I've made peace with them and allow them acknowledgment. They keep me humble. "Yup, you too. You're part of me too."

Meditation allowed me to witness their coming and going like other thoughts and feelings. Have you ever practiced meditation, Tracy? It is a great source of relief.